Reflections On A Mirror

Mirror. For some of us, that simple word evokes a multitude of emotions, anxieties, fears, and perhaps even a little shame. For others, it's just another fixture in our home, there for a quick glance to ensure that there are no stray hairs or rumpled clothing before heading out the door. But when was the last time you took a good, long, honest look in the mirror? As the end of the year approaches, we wanted to encourage you to take a look back - and within - yourself.

When you're able to see an undistorted picture where you are (self awareness), and where you've come from (witnessing progress), you then have a firm foundation to form a clear picture of where you want to be (goals). There are many wonderful reasons to look at that person in the mirror. You gain an honest understanding of yourself - the good, the bad, and the beautiful. You're able to honor and celebrate the progress you've made to date. No matter how hard or circuitous the path, you have made it to today. And we are proud of you.

From that place of awareness, you're able to learn from your mistakes and discover truths about your character and aspirations. You're able to set goals that are important to you, and track those goals as they become reality. Using the life experiences you've had, you're able to make good decisions that are based in reality, and that are useful to accomplishing your goals. This next year, let your unassuming household mirror be a reminder to honor yourself, your experiences, and be an inspiration for your year ahead.

What Motivates You?

People are motivated to achieve their goals by a variety of reasons. Mostly, they can be combined into one of two camps: Intrinsic or Extrinsic.

“Intrinsic motivation is associated with curiosity, exploration, spontaneity, and interest…extrinsic motivation is associated with actions undertaken to attain an end state that is separate from the actual behavior…determined by some external contengency such as good marks or the avoidance of negative consequences.” (Muller, 2004)

In other words, intrinsically motivated individuals will perform an activity for its own sake rather than to receive an external reward.
Some examples include:

·      Participating in a sport because you find the activity enjoyable.

·      Solving word or logic puzzles because you find the challenge stimulating.

·      Watching a television show because you find it entertaining.

On the other hand, extrinsically motivated individuals perform a task for an external purpose, often to receive a reward or to avoid a punishment.

Some Examples include:

·      Studying to receive a good grade, or a scholarship.

·      Training for a marathon in the hopes of having the fastest time or receiving an award.

·      Obeying the speed limit in order to avoid getting a speeding ticket. 

Taking the time to reflect on what motivates you the most can help you achieve your goals. Identify one or two key reasons why you want to reach your goals. Keeping those key reasons in focus will help you stay focused and overcome procrastination. Your reasons for quitting smoking, or losing weight with friends and loved ones can also provide you with a strong support network who can encourage you when times get tough.

Source:

Müller, Florian H., Louw, Johann. (2004). Learning environment, motivation and interest: Perspectives on self-determination theory. South African Journal of Psychology, 34, 2, 169-190.

Change Your Inner Dialogue

Your inner dialogue powerfully programs and shapes your self-image. If you believe you are not worthy and weak, you will live up to that truth. Take time this month to become more aware of how you are talking to yourself. An exercise that you can practice this month is to pretend you’re taking a seat on the sideline and watch the thoughts streaming into your consciousness (the part where you can hear them). Be like one of those train spotters who sit at the end of the platform and just take notes about the train number, name, and time of departure. You take note of the thought. Is it positive or negative? How frequently does it reappear? Does it make you feel good or feel bad? Is it an empowering “can-do” thought or a disabling “can’t do” thought? Just dispassionately observe what is going on in your mind. If you find habits and patterns that are not what you prefer, then use the power of visualization to see who you want to be and affirm daily who you are becoming with positive inner dialogue. This will start the process of freeing you of some of your negative internal dialogue. Your self-worth and self-esteem are keys to making the changes long-term. Start building the foundation with positive self-talk that allows you to start changing your inner dialogue. Along with these changes you will have a greater tendency to nourish your body with healthier foods, proper rest and exercise.